Jewish FAQs

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What is a Family?

Many people say today that the family is an arbitrary cultural structure. As society changes, so does the family. In Biblical times, the family was a patriarchal clan - a man with his wives ... [more]

What Do I Owe My Children As They Grow Up?

There are four major duties involved in parenting a healthy child: nurturing, protecting, providing, and mentoring. Every child needs nurturing. A little boy must feel that he belongs, tha... [more]

Why Should I Have Children?

My tradition would see a commitment to procreation rather than celibacy as the ultimate religious act. In numerous ways, when we have a baby we become closer to God. The process of creating... [more]

How Do We Keep Romance in Our Marriage?

"Love and Marriage, Go Together like a Horse and Carriage." So goes the old song. In reality, it is not necessarily true. Too often a couple will fall in love and marry despite serious disa... [more]

What Does My Wife/ My Husband Really Want?

Dr. Deborah Tannen, in her brilliant little book You Just Don't Understand, has beautifully summarized the essential difference between men and women. These differences are based on primiti... [more]

Are We Ready for Sex?

(I hope anybody considering a sexual relationship will carefully consider the religious implications of the sexual act. The following summarizes the Jewish position, an approach I treat at ... [more]

What Do I Owe My Siblings?

Siblings are our most long-term family relationship. As children, we are sometimes playmates and companions, sometimes bitter rivals. As adults we may be close friends, or have lives that i... [more]

What Do I Owe My Elderly Parents?

The ambivalence a child feels towards an elderly, slightly senile parent is reflected in a Talmudic story. Rav Assi had a mother who drove him crazy; she wanted jewelry, she wanted a husband... [more]

Should I Honor Abusive Parents?

Honoring parents is a commandment that applies, even when parents did a poor job raising us. We are not commanded to love or even like our parents, simply to care for them and show them res... [more]

Must I Obey My Parents?

(This answer refers to adult children living independently of their parents. Obviously, minor children living at home must obey their parents as long as the parents do not ask them to act i... [more]

Do I Have to Love My Family?

The woman who came to see me was deeply hurt. She had received a letter from her son which he had written at the urging of a therapist. The letter listed a litany of wounds allegedly caused ... [more]

What Do I Owe My Adult Children?

There is a story about a group of mothers sitting in a pediatrician's office complaining about their children. "My infant is up several times all night; she won't stop crying." "My two year... [more]